Soap is not a condiment
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
