you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the day after is always just damage control
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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