Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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