He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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