You just made me feel so damn special
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
