so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
