So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
