Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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