Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
