garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
tell me about the eggs
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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