She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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