we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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