i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
