So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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