This girl is more easily done than said...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
