this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I got inside last night via doggy door
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
