he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
