we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize