thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
