I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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