Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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