He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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