There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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