I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just invented taco cereal.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
