He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize