I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
