He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
