Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
