hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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