then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
