Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
