is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
