does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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