My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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