I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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