Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
