I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
