she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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