How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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