It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
