Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
