If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my sisters under your porch take her home
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize