Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
