Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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