I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
did i just pee glitter
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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