Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
