their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
