i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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