Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
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I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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