You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
