Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
