I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
