after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
