You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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