I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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