He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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