Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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