ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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