bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
